Friendship for Grown-Ups

This weekend I had the opportunity to attend the Women of Faith conference at the Sprint Center. Two days, six thousand women and some terrific speakers and singers. I got to hear Mandisa, Sandy Patti and Amy Grant sing live in concerts throughout the weekend. Wow!

One of the speakers was Lisa Welchel, better known as "Blair" from The Facts of Life TV show. Her topic immediately got my attention: "Friendship for Grown-Ups." I was all ears. Back in high school and college, the relative short-distance between my life and those around me made keeping up with friends easy. The relative little responsibilities we carried made time spent together almost a daily occurrence. I remember talking on the phone with my friends until the early hours of the morning, only to have my dad ask what we talked about the next day...and I truly couldn't remember. What we lacked in quality of conversation we made up for in quantity!

Fast forward 15 years, and some days I feel pretty worthless as a friend. The time to return phone calls, send birthday wishes and e-mails gets pushed aside to wipe noses, cook dinner, help with homework. And girl's nights? Forget 'em! Since most get-togethers now require babysitters and must be scheduled around 15 different types of practices and games, getting together with the girls happens less regularly than Leap Year.

During her time on the stage, Lisa focused on teaching how to find friends, and suggested that the best friends are women who aren't perfect and don't try to be. Ladies who have experienced the grace that comes with failure and are happy to spread the grace to other women who are in those trenches. That was the best, most reaffirming news--if imperfection makes a good friend, then at least I have that going for me!

At this stage in my life, I constantly worry that I am falling short: as a mom, as a wife, even as a friend. It was through Lisa's affirmation that I was able to realize that the old adage "to have a friend, you must first be one" is true. I don't know any perfect friends, I don't have any perfect friends--and honestly, I don't want any perfect friends. So why in the world do I think that I need to feel guilty for not being a perfect friend?

I am blessed to have friends of all ages and stages. Friends that I have known since birth and those that I met just this weekend. If you are reading this, you are my friend, and I am very lucky that our paths crossed at just the right moment. So, forgive me if I forget to return a call, if I accidentally send you a text the day after your birthday or fail to get together with you as often as I would like. I appreciate and love you, my "Grown-Up friends." And hopefully I will see you all soon--2012 is a Leap Year, after all!