It’s been a while since I’ve
blogged. I’ve been thinking a lot about
my age. It’s been 20 years since I was
15—yet I feel like it was yesterday. I
sure don’t feel as old as I thought 35 was 20 years ago. However, even if I was offered a million
dollars I would not go back 20 years and do it all again. I have been reading so much lately about
bullying, about high school girls’ insecurities and how so many of these girls
feel alone. This makes 20 years ago not
seem so far away to me, and I wonder if any of my younger friends would benefit
from the lessons that I learned during that time. I wish so much that Holly 2012 could have
written a letter to Holly 1992…
Dear 15-year-old Holly,
You are much like what I hope my
daughter will be like at 15. You don’t
drink, you don’t party and you have one steady boyfriend that doesn’t expect
much out of you. You get good grades and
participate in lots of school and church activities. There is very little I would change about you
at this phase, except your terrible self-esteem, but your world is getting
ready to be rocked, my dear, and how you handle yourself will play a strong
role in the woman you become. Here are
some suggestions and hints to make the big transitions coming up go more smoothly
for you.
Lexington High School is a stepping-stone,
it is not a final resting place. It is
as small as you think it is, but you need to appreciate the smallness and learn
from your experiences. You will be able
to participate in so many activities that you would not be able to do at a big
school. And the idea that everyone
either knows your business or will make up something about you is one that will
follow you throughout your life, so learn to brush it off. If it isn’t true, don’t waste your time
worrying about it.
You’re not good at team sports. You’re a klutz, and it is okay. However, you should allow yourself to do more
things that you might not be the best at, just to learn to be a participant and
not always the leader. Don’t wait until
your junior year to try out for the cheerleading team. Contrary to popular belief, girls who can’t
do toe-touch jumps can still make the football squad.
Those girls you think talk about you
behind your back? They don’t. They are too busy worrying what everyone else
thinks of them to be concerned with you.
The girls you idolize today as being the “it” girls will not be people
you will envy in 10 years. In fact, you
won’t remember who some of them are. You
will also look back on the day when those “friends” told you that no one liked
you and forced you to move to a different table at lunch as a pivotal moment in
your life. Don’t waste your time trying
to make people like you. Instead, spend
your time figuring out who you really are.
Don’t cut band class in January of
your junior year to go to Maid Rite with your friends. Even though most of the class skips, the
substitute is your neighbor and she will give you and your friends
detentions. She will also tell your
parents and everyone else within earshot about it at Wednesday night church
supper, so if you don’t heed the advice about not skipping, at least tell your
mom by 6pm that night.
Take advantage of the terrific
teachers you have. You will learn more
about literature from Mr. McCrary and Science from Dr. Wene than you will learn
in any of your college courses on these topics.
Every one of those teachers cares for you and wants you to do well. Realize the value of mentors like Mrs. Alkire
and Mr. Crosson. The lessons you learn
from them will be more vital to you than any knowledge you gain from studying. And don’t stress so much about Algebra and
Geometry. They really are as unnecessary
as you think they are.
On prom night your junior year, you
will be offered a red Solo cup with a liquid called “Purple Passion” in
it. Go easy on that stuff. Alternating it with water and would probably
be a good idea. The same could be said
for any bottle of liquid with “Boone’s” on the label.
Even your good, true friends will
hurt you every once in a while. Give
them a second, third, fourth chance.
They will be worth it and those true high school friendships will be one
of your biggest treasures, even 20 years from now.
You will get nodules on your vocal
cords your senior year and not be able to sing or speak for months. You will recover, but it will be work. You will have a great speech therapist, and
it will give you insight into your future profession. You are not meant to be an actress or a
singer. Deal with it, you will be okay.
I know this will come as a complete
shock, but you will not marry your current boyfriend. He is a great guy, a good friend and is
definitely the best for you right now.
He will get you through some rough times, so go easy on him in a couple
of years when things don’t work out. You
will be fine and he will be fine and you both will end up with who you’re
supposed to. Same can be said for your
next boyfriend…and the next one…
Get a good haircut. Stop cutting your own bangs and trimming your
own split ends, it’s not a good look.
Please don’t wait until your junior year of college to go to a real salon
and not some place in the mall. Please.
Stick to your intuition about not
having sex. Contrary to what you’re
hearing from your friends, you’re not the only one who isn’t doing it. You will be very, very glad you held out.
Trust your instincts and don’t room
with your best friend when you pick the same college. You will both need room to grow and meet new
people, and it won’t hurt your friendship at all—you will be the maid of honor
in her wedding. College will be one of
the most fun times in your life. Enjoy
every minute. It’s okay to go over and
annoy the cool petite girl who lives next door when you need a break from your
roommate. She will end up being one of
your 2 best friends and you will be the maid of honor in her wedding too.
Do with this letter what you want
and change things as you see fit.
However, please, please, please don’t
wait too long to take Jen up on her offer to set you up with her boyfriend’s
police academy buddy in the summer of 1998.
It will turn out to be a very, very good idea. And, on date #3 with this new guy, resist
your urge to break up with him because things are moving too slow and he
doesn’t talk much. He’s a keeper. Date #4 you will realize that he is “the one.” He will be the best thing that has ever
happened to you. And he will give you
the most amazing family ever. And you
will live happily ever after.
Much love,
Holly
